Thursday, August 19, 2010

Today I Had to Tell My Son There is No Tooth Fairy

This morning I traumatized my eight year old son. I need to throw some more money in his therapy fund. He will be telling this story for years to come.

Last Tuesday evening Riley lost another tooth. Wednesday morning he says, "The tooth fairy didn't come!"

Shit.

"She didn't come? Did you put your tooth under your pillow?"

"No. I forgot. I left it on the kitchen counter."

Sigh of relief. "Well that's why silly! Put it under your pillow tonight and she'll come. I promise."

This morning I get up, take my shower, and go to wake up Riley. I nudge him awake and walk downstairs to turn on the coffee pot. (Coffee is VERY important in my house!) When I get back upstairs he is sitting on the bed crying.

"What's wrong honey?!" I ask.

"The Tooth Fairy HATES me!!!!!"

Shit. Shit. SHIT! 

"She took my tooth, and didn't leave me any money! She hates my teeth!"

I took a deep breath and sat down next to him on the bed. Do I tell him? Or, do I not? As I looked at my crying child I knew I had no choice. Better he hate me than think some imaginary fairy hates him.

"Riley, honey, it was mommy who forgot to leave you money."

He sniffles and stares up at me. And grunts.

"Mommies and daddies leave tooth fairy money to help little kids have courage when they lose their teeth."

"No...."

"Yes. Mommy is sorry."

"Khegan was.... was... right! You LIED!"

Yes, my stepson Khegan (who's 5 weeks younger than Riley) has been saying for weeks that his mommy was the Tooth Fairy. He saw her sneak into his room and get out her wallet.

At our house we denied this rumor and cursed his mother for being such an idiot. And Riley believed us. Khegan we almost had convinced. I can only imagine the secretive talks those two boys are having right now about how I lied.

No tooth fairy.

"Riley, it's not really a lie. It's an... incentive. An incentive to help you be brave enough to pull out your teeth."

He grunts and sniffles and starts to get dressed.

I thought it was over. I had succeeded. That wasn't too bad...

A few minutes later, down in the kitchen he is still grunting. No words.

"Riley, what's wrong? Are you mad at mom?"

He bursts into tears.

SSSHHHIIIIITTTT!!!!!

"Riley, it's ok. It is really ok. Now, don't you smile at mommy. Don't you laugh...."

He stifles a grin before he starts grunting and sniffling and crying again.

"Riley, don't laugh! Don't even think about laughing at mommy! And whatever you do, don't kiss me..."

Crying.

"Don't laugh because... because... Because if you do I'll have to give you $10!"

He laughed.

And kissed me.

And it only cost $10.

14 comments:

Busy Working Mama said...

Awww....my near-3 year old is near traumatized by the thought of losing her baby teeth. We'll be resorting to the tooth fairy for sure! Although, where I grew up (Poland) there was no such thing and I lost my teeth and just lived with it. And I have not had to have therapy :)

Lindsay Williams said...

I can remember when Riley lost his first one.. He was almost 6 which is a little old to lose your first tooth. He wiggled and wiggled, but when it got loose enough to yank out, he was terrified! But we got through it. I think the Tooth Fairy is a common tradition in America. I was worried he would start asking me about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny... Luckily he did not. :)

sheaintheavy said...

wait. so you're telling me there's no tooth fairy?????

CrunchyVTMommy said...

this is awesome. you handled it so well. im going to remember this story for when i need it...or tell my kids that maybe the tooth fairy became extinct?
ugh parenting is hard work :)

Jackie (WritRams) said...

The next thing I know you'll say there's NO SANTA CLAUS or EASTER BUNNY.

Hate this post... ;o)

Heh heh. Just kidding.

It sucks when they start to talk and think for themselves and then you can't lie to them anymore.

Now I'm depressed again...

Jacqui "Jax" Jacoby said...

I don't suppose you've started in on Santa, you evil woman!! LOLOL

Jax

Lindsay Williams said...

Thanks y'all! LOL I know.... I ruined his innocence and apparently I also ruined it for Lesa @LuckyandSass

Aly said...

LOVE IT!!! I am hoping to never have this conversation. I'm hoping the town bum lets the cat out of the bag to London. I just can't take the look on his face when he realizes I lied. $10?!?!?! What a STEAL!!!!

Jillian K. Thomas said...

When my oldest daughter started losing teeth she was PETRIFIED of the tooth fairy. We had to leave the tooth on the coffee table in the livingroom - the farthest room from her room. I really contemplated busting that damn fairy from the start. I mean... really, it is kind of creepy to think about a strange little fairy flying around your room while you sleep. I'd probably be scared too. But by the 3rd tooth we were all in love with the tooth fairy - or her money...

Sometimes I wonder about these silly little myths we tell our children. I guess it keeps the magic in childhood, but it sure can be stressful to keep up the lie!

Oh and I too forgot the tooth fairy - not once, but twice. Lied my way out of it the first time and by the 2nd time I just decided to give it up. It's too much pressure to think on my feet like that! LOL

Jessi said...

Ahhh...the 10-spot maneuver, well played, m'lady!

The Easter Bunny's gonna be expensive, but you're gonna need take out a loan when bust out the truth about Santa.

Chef Bee said...

My youngest who is now in college used to pull his teeth out to get money from the tooth fairy. He lost all his baby teeth before my older two children and was bummed when he realized he didn't have a never ending supply.

Plan B

Clarisse said...

OMG so cute! I was baby sitting my cousins when the 8 year old lost a tooth. Her sisters told her there was no tooth fairy and she 'knows' but wants to belive. She said she'd put her tooth under the pillow for the money but then later when i was tucking her in went into detail just how the tooth fairy got in the house. Of course all I have on me is a $20, and no the tooth fairy ain't got it like that so I scrounged all of my emergency toll booth quarters 4.25 (which ironically is not enough to cross the bridges in NYC) and slipped that.

She woke up in the morning yelling that the tooth fairy is a cheapskate! And asked me for the tooth back! Its still in my briefcase cause i forgot to slip it to her mother.

~*Jess*~ said...

AWWWW! Yeah I'm all about tooth fairy right now, no sign of loose teeth but we are talking her up. *Tear* he's getting big.

McKenzie said...

I love my nephew! What a cutie and I could totally visualize this happening!

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