Transforming My Life Project Day 2: Happiness is a State of Mind

People spend their whole lives searching for happiness. It is common to hear people say, "If only I had more money, time, power, influence, children, a house, a new car, etc. etc.,..." then I would be truly happy.


Happiness does not come from material things. True, we may feel happy when we get something new, but it is not really that material object that is making us happy. It is our perception of the material object that makes us happy.

Put simply, we are happy when we think we are happy.

And, guess what?

As humans, we have this amazing gift to control what we think! This means that if we think happy thoughts we become happy. By finding the positives in any given situation, we draw more positive experiences into our life.

Positive thoughts lead to positive life experiences. Have you ever heard the saying, "Fake it til you make it!" or "The power of positive thinking."? Happy people are happy because they find the positives in any situation. They control their thoughts - only allowing those positive juices to flow. Happy people are charismatic. They are like a magnet attracting more positive people and positive energy into their lives.

The reverse is true too.

Negative thoughts lead to negative life experiences. Have you ever heard the saying, "Misery loves company." or "Birds of a feather flock together."? It's true. If you surround yourself with negative people and overwhelm yourself with negative thoughts, then you are creating a negative (and miserable) reality for your life.

The choice is yours! Take charge of your thoughts, take charge of your life! Think happy, be happy! Only you have control over your own happiness.

Transforming My Life Project: Day 1

I am a believer in The Law of Attraction. In February 2007 my mother bought me the book, The Secret. The book explains the law of attraction and how to use in to attract the things you want in life. Basically, it tells people how to live life by design.

The book quotes Bob Doyle, Author and Law of Attraction Specialist, stating, "Basically put, the law of attraction says that like attracts like. But we're really talking at a level of thought."

The book goes on to explain how through the law of attraction, your thoughts are manifested in your life. The become real. You can think your life into existence. By sending your thoughts out the universe, you are telling the universe this is what I want.

Initially, I was very skeptical of this book. I read it. It was interesting. I tucked it away.

Then, later in the year, I pulled it out and read it again. I was ready for a change. My life was at a plateau. I had graduated with my Masters Degree and my life had no "next big thing" in sight. I need goals. I am a goal-oriented person and without a "next big thing" to strive for I feel unfulfilled.

After reading The Secret a second time, in the fall of 2007 I made a list of what I wanted in my life and tucked it away in a book.

My list looked like this:

Husband
More Kids
House
Vacation (to the beach)
Jewelry
Wealth
New Job

Would the law of attraction work? Every day I would tell myself inspirational thoughts. I would dream of the life I wanted. I made a very detailed list of all the qualities I wanted in a husband. I envisioned myself drinking margarita's on the beach. I saw myself walking into a beautiful house that I owned.

For Christmas that year, one of my gifts was jewelry. Then, in January of 2008, I met my husband on Match.com. We emailed and talked on the phone for 3 months before we met in person. We had our first date on March 1, 2008. We would have made a date a couple weeks sooner, but I had a vacation planned. My friend, Matt, had invited me to join him on his vacation to Riviera Maya. His (kinda) girlfriend at the time, was not able to go with him so I scored the open spot!

In July 2008 we got engaged - engagement ring, more jewelry. My husband has a son, who now my stepson - more kids (although not be the means I had intended). In November of 2008 I got a new job. In February 2009 we bought a house. After we got married in August 2009, we went to Jamaica for our honeymoon - another beach vacation.

Almost everything on my list now exists in my life!

Looking back, self-doubt has been blocking me from achieving my dream of monetary wealth. So where does the infertility come from? I can vividly remember sitting in a matching conference with prospective adoptive parents who were struggling with infertility. They were heartbroken because they were not matched with the child in question. I thought to myself, "My heart goes out to this couple. I can't imagine what infertility would feel like. I wish I had this experience so I could relate better to them." That pretty much cinched it - thinking my life into existence. That is the first time I have ever shared that experience out loud.

Today I am starting my 'Transforming My Life Project'. One year from now my life will be different than it is today.

This is what my life will look like in a year:

My marriage is happy and thriving.

Our family is happy and thriving.




I work from home.

As a life coach.



We have a beautiful baby, possibly twins.

My book is published.



I make a lot of money.

This is what I drive.

I am thankful for my husband, my boys, my house, my job, and all the blessings in my life. I have achieved a lot. I am a powerful woman who is overflowing with potential. I will achieve my dreams. Over the next year I will post periodic update about the Transforming My Life Project and how successful it is.

If you are a believer in the law of attraction, or would like to be, then I invite you to participate in the Transforming My Life Project. It would be awesome to link up with other powerful women who are ready to transform their lives. We could start a mom revolution. (Seriously if you are interested in starting a project like this of your own, email me and we'll talk.)

Dear Insurance Company

Dear Insurance Company,

It has come to my attention that your associates would greatly benefit training about treating people with common courtesy and respect. In addition, it is apparent that your associates have never been trained on how to serve clients who are woman that are trying to conceive (TTC).

The training would cover topics such as:

Woman who are TTC are most likely hyped on on all sorts of crazy hormones. If you are rude and condescending to her she will most likely escalate very quickly. While you may think the client is being irrational, she is most likely fighting off the erge to call you a bitch and slam the phone down in your ear.

and...

Woman who are TTC are most likely sick and tired and irritated with people who are giving them the run around. If you attempt to give her the run around she will likely say, "I don't give a damn what the procedure is! I need my medication to be approved and I need it today. How are we going to accomplish that?"

You better have an answer for this woman who has been patiently waiting over a week for the "pre-authorization" to go through for her medication. And the answer better not be that the process takes 72 hours - especially when the woman on the other end is fully aware that it has been FOUR business days - that 96 hours, 24 hours more than 72 - yes, she can do math too.

Do not tell her "That is just our process." She is most likely educated and has been around the block a few times. She knows enough to know that processes can be expedited and procedures can be overlooked. If you provoke her she will tell you to take your processes and procedures and shove them up your ass!

She will ask speak to your supervisor. Let her. Do not tell her "A supervisor is not going to be able to change the process." Just put the damn supervisor on the phone! If you were doing your damn job then you wouldn't be scared hestiant to put your supervisor on the phone.

Do not underestimate a woman who is TTC and needs her medication approved. She will not rest until it is a done deal. She will get your name. She will call back. She will talk to your supervisor. She will get her damn "pre-authorization" whether you like it or not.

If you are interested in this training please call me at 1-800-Kiss My Ass.

Sincerely,

Educated Woman TTC
Will Not Take No for an Answer Inc.

Faith, Hope, and Love

These two excerpts from the Bible are quite meaningful to me. 1 Corinthians was one of the readings at our wedding.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and it's faith, hope, and patience never fail."

1 Corinthians 13:13 "Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love."

Life is a journey.

On our journey God presents us with many joyous occasions as well as many trials and tribulations. He will not present us with any task that we cannot handle. We are humbled by the difficult times we face. In facing disappointment, fear, and hurt; we learn to appreciate all the gifts in our lives.

God has armed us with his three greatest gifts: faith, hope, and love - of these, the greatest is love.

Faith: Have faith that there are brighter times ahead. Have faith that He will provide for us. Have faith that we are right where we are meant to be. Everything happens for a reason.

Hope: Believe in the possibilities that live holds. With Him, all things are possible. Hope is the rainbow that appears after the storm. The light at the end of the tunnel. Hope gives us something to strive for and drives our dreams into reality.

Love: Love is a unique, human emotion. Love God. Love yourself. Love your husband. Love your children. Love your life. Love picks us up when we are weak. Love holds us together in times of sorrow. Without love we are nothing.

Friendship is the Key to a Successful Marriage and a Love that Lasts!

Friendship is the cornerstone of a successful marriage. When a marriage is built on an intimate friendship, the love will last forever. In his book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," John Gottman, Ph.D. explains, "Friendship fuels the flames of romance because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial towards your spouse."

Romantic relationships may form when two people share common interests and enjoy spending time together. Here's a classic scenario. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy asks girl out on a date. Girl says yes.

The initial "spark" or "chemistry", felt when boy meets girl, will only provide enough momentum to move the couple towards that first date, or possibly two. If no common interests exist then any hope for a future relationship fizzles out.

When common interests do exist, boy and girl will likely continue to spend more time together engaging in shared interests and activities. Boy and girl begin to build a solid friendship on the basis of their shared interests.

The relationship and budding friendship will grow to reach a more intimate level as the couple begins to share their hopes and dreams with one another. If the couple finds that they shares similar goals, values, and lifestyles, the relationship will progress even further.

Combine the joy one feels when she has met a special someone to share her innermost thoughts and feelings with, and the tingly feeling one gets when he is physically attracted to a member of the opposite sex; and the intensity of this friendship has risen to a full-fledged romantic relationship.

Marriage is a conscious commitment between two consenting adults to love and cherish each other every day for the rest of their lives. Love is a choice. In order for a marriage to succeed, each partner must choose to act lovingly towards one another for all the days of their lives. Love is unconditional.

Dr. Gary Chapman, in his book "The 5 Love Languages," discusses why love can fade after the wedding. He asserts that people prefer to be shown love in different ways. To be precise, Dr. Chapman has identified five primary love languages. The love languages are 1) words of affirmation, 2) quality time, 3) gifts, 4) acts of service, and 5) physical touch. By learning your spouse's love language, you will be able to convey love to your spouse in a manner she understands and recognizes.

A marriage based on a deep friendship, with mutual respect and admiration, provides a couple with a solid foundation that will hold strong in times of marital distress. According to John Gottman, friendship is a happy couple's secret weapon. His book states, "Rediscovering or reinvigorating friendship doesn't prevent couples from arguing. Instead, it gives them a secret weapon that prevents the quarrels from getting out of hand."

Maintain the friendship with your spouse by setting aside a regular time to re-connect and discuss the intimate as well as mundane details of your lives. Tell your partner you know how much you love him. Let your partner know that she is appreciated by planning a special date or buying her flowers. A simple hug can go a long way in letting your husband know what it means to be his wife. Helping your wife do the laundry or clean the bathrooms will let her know that you recognize all she does to keep your home warm and inviting.

A healthy balance of friendship, love, and respect will allow your marriage to thrive!

Additional Resources:
http://www.gottman.com/
http://www.garychapman.org/
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
http://foryourmarriage.org/