Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The concept referred to as "domestic discipline," basically consists of the wife being subservient to the husband and the husband having permission to "punish" he wife by spanking her like a child, put her in the corner, ground her, etc. like she was a child. The "spanking" is really domestic violence - the husband beating the wife until her backside was black and blue. It's a disgusting practice, which only tries to glorify domestic violence. What is even more disturbing was that when I Googled "domestic discipline" one of the first sites that came up was a Christian Domestic Discipline site.
Obviously, for anyone who is Christian, beating your wife is NOT a Christian practice. Beating your wife is called domestic violence. Domestic Violence (in my own definition, click link to see Wikipedia definition) is abusive behavior towards one's spouse, significant other, or family member who resides in the same home. Domestic violence includes physical aggression, extreme verbal aggression, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and controlling behavior. In a DV relationship there is a predictable cycle of violence. There are also a variety of different types of domestic violence. On average, it takes a DV victim seven attempts before they successfully leave the relationships. Relationships involving abuse of any kind are NOT healthy, and despite what the abusive partner may say, they are not the norm.
A healthy marital relationship is a partnership in which two consenting adults vow to love and cherish each other til death do they part. The husband and wife are a team. They take care of each other. They discuss big decisions with each other and do not make a final decision until they are both in agreement. They compromise. If something is very important to one spouse, the other spouse may give in or let that spouse have his or her way. This kind of give-and-take goes both ways in a marital relationship. The married couple asks as one solidified unit, not two individuals fighting against each other. At the heart of healthy marriages is a deep, underlying friendship.
Through a marital partnership the couple relationship becomes central to the family unit - whether that family unit is a nuclear family or a stepfamily. In a two parent family, the couple is the heart of the family and makes decisions that affect the well being of everyone involved. I know that not all marriages last forever. I know that not all families are two parent families. Families come in many shapes and sizes. However, if you are married it is important to strive to make your marriage work. It is important to work towards a marital partnership. The couple's relationship is the most significant relationship model their children will experience. Let's teach our children that marriage is a partnership based upon friendship. Let's teach them that marriage is a 'safe' relationship based on mutual respect. Let's teach them how to handle conflict in a healthy manner.
I love comments. I know this could be a heated topic for some people, but I would love to know what you think are the most important ingredients in a healthy marriage?
Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
For Your Marriage