Dream Big

In reading my post from yesterday titled, ‘Kiss your comfort zone good-bye!’, you may have gathered that I’ve recently decided to step out of my comfort zone and dream big.

It has always been my dream to write a book. And to have it published. And to be on Oprah.

Being on Oprah is a ways off, but writing a book that will get published – that will happen sooner, rather than later. Still, I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let me regress…

My entire adult life I have been working towards one goal or another.

When I was a young, single mother, at the age of twenty, it was my goal to finish college. To achieve that goal I had to make a lot of sacrifices. I had to move in with my grandparents, who generously allowed me to live with them while I went to school. I had to spent my nights studying instead of holding my baby. (Really, I did plenty of that too, but you know what I mean.) Since I was a full-time student and a part-time waitress, I didn’t have a lot of money. I had to collect welfare. Talk about a humbling experience. It was amazing to me how the social workers would look down on me for being on welfare when all I was trying to do was make a life for myself and my son. The point is, it was difficult to achieve this goal, but I did.

In January 2004, at twenty-two years old, with a two-year-old son, I graduated from college.

Graduating from college was a stepping-stone in my life. It allowed me to get a good job with the local Public Children Services Agency. That job allowed me to move into a nice half-double with my son. It felt good to be on my own. However, I was not satisfied with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology. So, over the course of the next two years, I continued to work hard. I wrote a lot of research papers, took care of a toddler (who turned into a preschooler), got a promotion, protected children at risk of abuse and neglect, and nurtured my little family of two.

In June 2007, at twenty-five years old, with a four-year-old son, I received my Masters Degree in Social Work.

About that time I started to toss around the idea of fulfilling my long-time dream of writing a book. My best friend, doing what best friends do, bought me a book about how to write a book and how to get your book published. But what would I write about? The book (about writing a book) said that publishers wanted to know why you are the best person to be writing a book about your subject area. To be a successful non-fiction author, you need an angle, and you need to be an expert. The only thing I was close to being an expert at was my job, and maybe being a mother. So, I put my dream of writing a book on hold. I got another promotion. I forced myself to start dating. Then, I met the love of my life on Match.com. Yes, you read that correctly.

In January 2008, at twenty-six years old, with a five-year-old son, I met the love of my life on Match.com.

Over the next few months I fell more and more in love with John and his son Khegan. After a short four months of dating, my now-husband proposed. I said yes! Then I turned my life upside down. We, my son and I, moved. I spent three months commuting over an hour a day – both ways. I got a new job. We bought a house. We planned a wedding. We created a family.

On August 22, 2009, at twenty-seven years old, with a seven-year-old son, I married the love of my life. I became a stepmother. We became a family.

The plan was to expand our family – immediately. To my frustration, this did not happen. Apparently, a woman who is very fertile at twenty is not always so fertile at twenty-seven. Or, twenty-eight. In my impatience, I got stuck. My life was at a stand-still. There was no “next big thing”. A baby; a baby was supposed to be our next big thing. We are still working on that.

In January 2010, at twenty-eight years old, with a seven-year-old son, and a seven-year-old stepson, and a thirty year old husband, I found out that we would need the assistance of fertility medications to achieve our next big thing.

My feet were planted firmly in my comfort zone. A comfortable job. A nice house. Two smart, beautiful children. A strong, handsome husband. To an outsider it looked like I had it all. But, I was not an outsider – I was standing with my feet planted firmly in my comfort zone. And, a voice inside my head was telling me to get out – to do more, to be more. So, with all the courage I could muster, I kissed my comfort zone good-bye!

On May 1, 2010, at twenty-eight years old, with two seven-year old sons, and a husband, and a graduate level education, I created this blog. My blog. The precursor to my book. My book that will get published. Then I will be on Oprah.