A Letter to My-20-Year-Old-Self

January 8, 2002

Dear Lindsay,

You've just found out you are pregnant. You're 20 and pregnant and in a bad for you relationship. I know, I know ... you're in love - we'll come back to the relationship thing in a minute.

You are scared right now. You are scared because you are uneducated, making less than $20,000 a year waiting tables, your mom lives in another state, and you are pregnant. I'm here to tell you that it will all be ok. You're dreams will come true. It will be a long road. You will experience many struggles and pitfalls, but you will survive.

In a matter of a few short months you will come to love that little life inside of you more than anything else in the entire world. You will also lose your dad before your child is born - it will be very sad, but also a relief. This next year will be difficult full of tough decisions. You will make the right choices.

Telling your mom that you are pregnant will be difficult, but you will survive. Hearing your mom tell you that you cannot move in with her will be difficult, but you will survive. Moving in with your grandparents will be difficult, but you will survive. You will put your baby first and you will survive.

As for the relationship you are in and the hurt it has caused you - you will survive. It may take a long time for you to move past it and get on with your life, but you will. You cannot change another person no matter how much you care about them.

When the time is right, you will meet the man God put on earth to be your husband. It will happen in due time. You will get your education. You will make things happen for you.

There are decisions you could change. You could make better choices along the way, but then I would be afraid that you wouldn't end up where you are now. And, where you are now is where you are meant to be.

You will realize that God works in a mysterious way. He connects the dots throughout your life and gives you the strength to go on. Take a deep breath. Say a prayer. You will survive.

Love,

Your 28-Year-Old-Self

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