Two Week Wait

Today starts my two week wait. Two more weeks before I will know if the Follistim worked. Two more weeks before I will find out whether this month is THE month. Will I have a BFP (big fat positive) or BFN (big fat negative) when I POAS (pee on a stick) in two weeks?

This TWW is going to be torture! I've endured a year full of TWW's. Actually probably about 8 or 9 of them over the last year b/c when you have PCOS your periods are not a regular 28 days. Anyways, every month it was the same... I'd get so excited. I'd start imagining that I was having pregnancy symptoms. I knew that month was THE month. Only, it wasn't.

This month it's different. This cycle we worked with a fertility doctor. This cycle we took fertility shots. This cycle IS different. This cycle I took a shot that MADE me ovulate. The rest of it - easy. The reason we have not fallen preggers is just b/c I was not ovulating. So... this month - has to be THE month.

I'm afraid to get my hopes up.

Yet I am trying to think positive. 

And it is SO easy to get your hopes up. I've started taking over the counter pre-natal vitamins again. I've been drinking a lot of water. I'm starting to limit my caffeine intake. I'm doing all the "right" things to make sure that if I did 'O' that this month will be a success.

The TWW is hard.

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Today I Had to Tell My Son There is No Tooth Fairy

This morning I traumatized my eight year old son. I need to throw some more money in his therapy fund. He will be telling this story for years to come.

Last Tuesday evening Riley lost another tooth. Wednesday morning he says, "The tooth fairy didn't come!"

Shit.

"She didn't come? Did you put your tooth under your pillow?"

"No. I forgot. I left it on the kitchen counter."

Sigh of relief. "Well that's why silly! Put it under your pillow tonight and she'll come. I promise."

This morning I get up, take my shower, and go to wake up Riley. I nudge him awake and walk downstairs to turn on the coffee pot. (Coffee is VERY important in my house!) When I get back upstairs he is sitting on the bed crying.

"What's wrong honey?!" I ask.

"The Tooth Fairy HATES me!!!!!"

Shit. Shit. SHIT! 

"She took my tooth, and didn't leave me any money! She hates my teeth!"

I took a deep breath and sat down next to him on the bed. Do I tell him? Or, do I not? As I looked at my crying child I knew I had no choice. Better he hate me than think some imaginary fairy hates him.

"Riley, honey, it was mommy who forgot to leave you money."

He sniffles and stares up at me. And grunts.

"Mommies and daddies leave tooth fairy money to help little kids have courage when they lose their teeth."

"No...."

"Yes. Mommy is sorry."

"Khegan was.... was... right! You LIED!"

Yes, my stepson Khegan (who's 5 weeks younger than Riley) has been saying for weeks that his mommy was the Tooth Fairy. He saw her sneak into his room and get out her wallet.

At our house we denied this rumor and cursed his mother for being such an idiot. And Riley believed us. Khegan we almost had convinced. I can only imagine the secretive talks those two boys are having right now about how I lied.

No tooth fairy.

"Riley, it's not really a lie. It's an... incentive. An incentive to help you be brave enough to pull out your teeth."

He grunts and sniffles and starts to get dressed.

I thought it was over. I had succeeded. That wasn't too bad...

A few minutes later, down in the kitchen he is still grunting. No words.

"Riley, what's wrong? Are you mad at mom?"

He bursts into tears.

SSSHHHIIIIITTTT!!!!!

"Riley, it's ok. It is really ok. Now, don't you smile at mommy. Don't you laugh...."

He stifles a grin before he starts grunting and sniffling and crying again.

"Riley, don't laugh! Don't even think about laughing at mommy! And whatever you do, don't kiss me..."

Crying.

"Don't laugh because... because... Because if you do I'll have to give you $10!"

He laughed.

And kissed me.

And it only cost $10.